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Day of joy

Jan. 28th, 2007 | 12:04 pm
mood: refreshedrefreshed

Helloooo ppl

Well I have entered a couple of retrospective entries below from the last couple of months from times when I have not had access to the net. If you manage to read through all that inane waffling, here is some current waffling for you :D

Yesterday and, thus far at least, today have been fab. B has gone to Somerset for a karate thing this weekend so I have basically been pottering about on my own. Yesterday morning I went to aikido like normal, did a teeny bit of shopping including buying myself a heart shaped valentines day cookie which was yum - holiday themed cakes and biscuits make me so happy!!! Then I did a grocery shop at morrisons, or at least, got as much stuff as I could carry. Got the bus home in the pretty sunshine and then was very good and did some study. In the evening I made myself dinner (veggie burgers and salad, yum) watched some Scrubs & some of Millenium Actress (anime movie) and had a divine bubble bath with some special radox stuff I got for muscle relaxation. I also got a stress relief one! Today so far I have woken up and posted on here, while listening to the divine Kerrang radio. I am planning on making chocolate crispy cakes today. I even bought mini marshmallows to go in them :D I also gotta do some of the washing and some more study, and I want to write up some notes on aikido moves and practise some shinkeendo. Wow. I guess that means I better get going.

Here's to not leaving my journal neglected for so long next time!!

Love to ya all

K xxx

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Retrospective entry: Fun times

Jan. 21st, 2007 | 11:52 am
mood: contentcontent

Greetings, mortal

This is an update I have written on the train back home from mum’s. I was down for Lady K’s bday, stayed the night at mum’s and now making my way back. I was worried such a fleeting visit would seem a bit short as I usually try and make trips down at least a long weekend. As it was, it was lovely. I got the train Saturday morning after a good aikido lesson and went ice skating with a bunch of school friends including Itara and of course Lady K. Having no balance I was, of course, rubbish but it didn’t matter at all as we all just had a right laugh. Then we went back to Lady K’s for pizza and laughs, including willing people on “dancing on ice” to fall over. We had one of those great conversations that lasts into the night including funny stories about being scared of spiders and other things, what we had all been up to lately, what we’re hoping to do in the future & when we’re all going to meet up again. When it turned midnight we gargled, signed & danced happy bday to Lady K, then she opened our presents and I’m sure she is looking forward to whipping us all at Star Wars trivial pursuit! (come on Anakin Skywalker question!!)

Now today I face the usual dilemma of housework or study and will probably opt for a mix of the two that somehow involves getting nearly nothing done. Everything is crazy lately, including our fence blowing down in the wind. Yet another thing to sort out.

I have been CRAVING to go to a concert lately. Can’t believe our last one was last March. I so badly just need to jump up and down and scream and shout in a noisy place with thousands of other ppl!! But gotta find a good band, money, time off work etc…we have got some trips etc lined up including visiting my bro in London next month but I’m very conscious of how much effort I need to put into studies from now on.

I have been thinking up baby names – don’t read anything into it! What do u think of these: William George Byron, Rebecca Elizabeth, Robyn Lea, Lireal, Kai Dante?

After touching on the subject at Lady K’s I have been thinking about life n stuff – like how one day you think life is fab and you’ve got everything sorted then the next day your head is all over the place. I am SO glad to find I’m not the only one who feels like this. My theory is that life will probably always be that way (at least for me) – a constant state of flux and change. I have come to the conclusion that even if you do your best to keep things the same, things and ppl around you will keep changing & the tide will inevitably draw you in, so you might was well create some changes of your own choosing and not hold yourself back with fear. I believe I have come to a state of acceptance that things can be screwy one day and great the next. This thinking actually helps when things are going wrong. It just takes a small measure of disconnectedness, realising this is just one day and trying not to get too deeply drawn into your emotions as the ultimate reality (while still feeling them fully enough to experience being human). I’m not saying it’s easy but I’m sure I cope with life better than I did a couple of years ago.

I have taken to doing fun things. Broadly, creative things (cardmaking etc, writing poems, relearning the clarinet) and exercise (martial arts). All these things are great when I’m feeling low (except the poetry – things can get a bit too introspective!). I am in the process of teaching myself the lyrics to my current favourite song – “Passion” – it’s sung in Japanese and is just beautiful. Here are the lyrics:

When I remember back far, far
The future was forever shining
Below the pretty blue sky
We were only frightened a little

This window is stained with sorely missed colors

If I keep on looking forward
Will I meet you again?
Because the future really continues on forever
Underneath a large sign
I want to watch time change

Towards the people, the places
I will never see again
I open this window

When I remember back far, far
The future was forever shining
Below the pretty blue sky
We slept endlessly

The person I loved long ago
Is to have a child in winter
Sometimes I just want to doubt
Our promises made long ago
I could never forget
I wonder if your New Year's card will have a photo
I just look back, and miss
All the things we could never do
My fears, my lies
Below the blue sky

My martial arts lessons are going well lately. One of my latest realisations is that the dojo is like a mini world where you face smaller versions of every day problems. You learn about yourself and how you interact with other ppl. I like that there is a deeper philosophy to martial arts than just being a competitive sport. Martial arts are one thing I won’t be giving up in my quest to find more study time, because they are such a release. It feels so good to be fit and active and the accomplishment of learning new things is a real boost.

I have been making an effort to get in some extra training on top of my usual 2 lessons a week and it has really paid off. One vital element of shinkendo is called kiai – intimidating cries you give off as you attack. As you might imagine I have never really got to grips with this, being the shy retiring type ;) Kiai is more than just shouting, it is “focused, projected intent” and it is supposed to come from your centre (“hara”, the core of your being). I have noticed that generally your kiai voice is nothing like your normal voice. Both our friend Rich & our sensei have got very normal, amiable voices but when they use kiai they sound like murderous warlords. Lately I have just started using kiai (way behind everyone else!) mostly because I have just felt like making a lot of noise. It really is good stress relief. I think I am getting it right – it doesn’t feel like normal shouting and I go an octave lower than normal. I’m still not massively comfortable doing it and will only do it when everyone else is, but I’m really pleased I’ve at least started to find my kiai voice.

Train journey coming to an end!!

Signing off now,

K xxx

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Happy New Year all!!

Dec. 31st, 2006 | 11:54 am

Hi lovely people! I have written many an update on scraps of paper and word docs that never quite made it onto here, I will have an update sesh sometime in the new year, but I just wanted to say woohoo! Another year is just around the corner :D We're off to our friends tonite, so goodbye 2006 and hello 2007! It was a good year and here's to many more!!

Take care all

K xxx

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Retrospecitve entry: moving on

Dec. 17th, 2006 | 11:11 am
mood: contemplativecontemplative

Hello all,
I am writing this on word cos right now our internet is not connected. I think this is cos Richard was over last night and he and Byron were doing something with the computer – Richard bought his PC over and they hooked them up using a network to play games or something. Byron isn’t home right now, he’s on an aikido course, I’ll get him to sort it out when he gets home.

So last night was really fun. Rich & George were over, Byron cooked for us and we watched the X factor final (Ben is the real winner) and exchanged Christmas presents. Then the boys went upstairs to play games while me & George watched cheesy music videos and completed a whole jigsaw. Then we watched mean girls and went to bed. The boys went off to their course this morning and George stayed here for a bit. We just chatted, took a walk to Tesco, had some lunch and did a bit of cross stitch. Next spring, about March, they are moving back down south :( this means they will be about 6 hours away from us. Even when I can finally drive, that will be a hell of a journey. I’m so sad they’re leaving, they’re really are first “couple” friends where all four of us are friends and can hang out. Everything is so nice and easy with them – they have our sense of humour and like the things we like, George is a goth like me and enjoys doing crafts and stuff, we all dig anime. We’ve only known them about a year, we met through martial arts, but they have become really special to us especially as we can all sympathise with moving far away from home. This town has really felt like home since we all made friends, we know other people too through martial arts & stuff but those 2 are so special to us. I know they have to do what is right for them and I know they will be so much happier back with their families, but I will miss them like crazy. But I know that we all have our own lives to lead and have to go wherever it is that is right. I believe that if you want to enough, you will keep in touch, as demonstrated by my still bugging my school friends, lol. I will just miss the craft evenings where we cross stitch and make cards and sing badly to the buffy soundtrack while wrapped in duvets and drinking tea, while the boys are off killing things on the computer or messing around doing aikido moves. But, I know life will work out for the best for all of us, it always does.

When something big happens it always makes me think about my own life and where I’m going. I keep coming back to the idea that I want to travel. I want to get out of where I am and see things, amazing things, beautiful things. I want to live and see how others live and make friends who speak other languages. I have a good job and I am studying for a good qualification. I have a beautiful house, a great guy and loving friends and family. I am not ignoring what I have got – I’m lucky. But, once I have my ACCA qualification, somehow I am going to get out there. First stop Japan. I am glad Byron wants these things too. On the other hand, I do like stability. I’m not a born wonderer but I have a craving to experience, as long as I have a solid base to come back to. Of course, the problem is money. My current job is never going to make me rich, and I’m not convinced it will stretch to traveling the world either :P so perhaps I might have to get myself a better paid job in the accountancy sector, maybe even one that’s a bit rubbish/boring, it’ll be worth it if I can get the funds together. Not being big headed, I am good at my job and I don’t think I’ll have a problem getting into somewhere where perhaps the work is a bit harder but pays that much more. It would be nice if it was something I’d enjoy, but my plan is only to be there long enough to save up anyway. Then, once we’ve traveled, maybe we’ll find somewhere we like enough to live for a while. I would love to live in Tokyo – but I say this before I’ve been there, so who knows. Then, there is a bit of a black hole in my plan – and then, if I start thinking about settling down and having kids, when they get a little older I would like to open a shop selling craft supplies – things for card making, scrapbooking, cross stitching etc. For this, I might go into partnership with George cos that is the kind of shop she is working in at the moment, so she would know what she’s doing, and I could do the accounts, and it would be brilliant. That is my plan of glory.

Another thing I’ve been thinking about is my hopes and dreams. I reckon, you have to have dreams, but then, once you’ve done what you’ve been dreaming about, then what? That’s a scary thought. So, now that the traveling thing is a bit more in sight, I have started thinking again about other stuff I would like to accomplish. I would like to write a book. A writer is the first thing I said I wanted to be when I was little and I’ve never stopped loving a good story. So, if I ever get any spare time, I’m going to start writing. I don’t know if it’ll be any good, but it’s something to aim for, and well, why not?

So I have had a few low points lately. I think I am cold blooded, because like cold blooded creatures I absorb the temperature around me. In summer I love to lie in the sun like a lizard and just soak up all the warmth, but in winter its like the cold seeps into me and sometimes it gets so deep into me I just can’t get warm no matter what I try. But it goes further than that, because in summer the light seeps into me as well, I am at my best, happy and friendly and August is my birthday month, and exams are over. Then in winter, the darkness seeps into me. I know this happens a bit to everyone, but I am uber sensitive and everything seems to effect me a lot. Sometimes this seems really unfair, but then, I think if I didn’t feel my lows so low, my highs wouldn’t be so high, and it’s just part of me. I wouldn’t be living if I didn’t let myself feel all of my emotions.

I have got well into my music lately. Of course, I am always into music, but it is extra comforting to have my mp3 player going on the bus home when it is cold and dark. The daft thing is, generally my music isn’t exactly cheering. I was trying to explain to Jenni at work why I like the music I like. She is a very cheerful girl, always smiling, and when she is upset she listens to happy music to make her happy again. This doesn’t work for me. I don’t like “happy” music at the best of times and when I am upset it just seems like a cruel joke, and so fake. My music makes me happy, but it is a more complicated kind of happy. It’s like an affirmation. Music that speaks to my soul is the music where the voice fits the words, which fit the rhythm, which fits the arrangement of notes, which fits the instruments. This probably sounds psycho, but when all those things come together, it ends up being something that I lose myself in. I have an inability to just listen to music, I experience it, much to most people’s annoyance. I have a photographic memory for lyrics even though I can’t sing for beans, and I just have to dance and sing. I heard someone say somewhere lately about being too old to listen to a certain kind of music. I can’t remember who or what. That got me thinking, what are the songs I listen to actually about, and is the target audience actually 5 years younger than me?! Sometimes I still feel like a stroppy teenager but I think my music taste has definitely matured. As a random cross section of some songs I like, these are what they mean, or at least, what I think they mean:

Marilyn Manson, last day on earth – it’s the end of the world, but this guy has finally found this girl that he loves so really, as long as he’s with her, everything’s cool

Disturbed, Alive – about not changing yourself into something you’re not just cos other people want you to

Evanescence, imaginery – about the worlds we build inside our heads, sometimes these are nicer than the real world

Garbage, push it – go for it, you can achieve your dreams

Good Charlotte, the world is black – about not understanding all the bad things you see going on around you

Him, the sacrament – like all songs by Him, full of dark, gothic imagery about true love

Hmm that was interesting. Not sure if it proves anything, and regardless, I’m just going to keep on liking what I like anyway :P

Yesterday I bought my last Christmas present and just now I finished writing all my cards :D its so nice I don’t have to worry about it any more now, I can just look forward to it. I haven’t had any kind of time off except for weekends (where I just seem to have been running around anyway) since September. I am EXHAUSTED. On Friday I stayed late at work and my boss gave me a lift home in his merc cos I missed my bus :) I can’t wait to be home with my family relaxing and having a laugh. I think everyone will like what I’ve got them.

Signing off from mega post now,


K xx

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Update pending...

Nov. 3rd, 2006 | 11:06 pm
mood: sleepysleepy
music: clock ticking

OMG OMG need to updaaaaaateeee!!! This poor little journal is so neglected! I have a big list somewhere of stuff I have done, to post about, but it is downstairs and I am upstairs! So you get random gibberish instead! Life is OK at the moment, it has kinda gone back to normal after all the fun and excitement of summer. The usual ups and downs. But, that is kinda cool, sometimes it's nice just to know where you are, and what's going on.

Autumn is a very contemplative time for me, every year. It seems to me the biggest season of change, and every year I have to come to terms with it. I think I have made my peace with the end of summer for this year. This does not mean that within a few weeks I will not be sick of the dark evenings. I will. But, right now, I'm thinking of it as an oppurtunity for cosiness with big fluffy jumpers and endless cups of hot chocolate. And many movies.

I went out with 2 friends from work this evening for a chinese. I'm not a big Chinese fan, but the food was actually great. And it was nice to spend some time with the girls while not being at work :P I miss my friends back home. I need to go home soon. Next weekend I'm seeing the girls from work again for an evening of Disney movies :D then the next day I'm off to Birmingham with some other friends for a craft exhibition. I bought a craft knife on Sunday and when opening it sliced my thumb so deeply that it has still not healed. There was much blood.

I have started writing poems again, sort of. It felt good to write something expressive. I used to write a lot, then just stopped one day, because I guess I had nothing to write about any more. I just don't think they generally make much sense. I enjoy creating worlds where everything is metaphorical, and I pick words for how they sound & the images they conjure up just as much as for what they mean. Rythym is important too. I started wanting to write again after reading some of my poetry books from the Romantic era - Byron, Shelley, Keats etc...and that reminded me just why I love them so much. I envy people who can weave such beauty... how can they, who lived so many years ago, affect my life and make me feel so powerfully with something they jotted down so long ago? It just seems so odd, how what we do in our lives affects things in ways we'll never even know.

Anyway, I guess that is enough for now, bye bye till next time :D

xx Kasumi xx

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Yes, I am alive...

Mar. 10th, 2006 | 11:21 pm
mood: sleepysleepy
music: Staind - outside

Hello darklings :)

Yes it is I, your empress and leader, come to lead you to the promised salvation...also known as an updated blog :P
Long time no update, due to hectic life lol!! I guess that's why we all have these things, to try and keep track of each other, and ourselves, in the manic washing machine of life!! Well shedloads has happened since my last update in...november! Fairly unsuprisingly, I suppose. Some good some bad some rather cheesecake like... (gimme a break it's late and things start getting a little surreal in my head around this time). There's been no cheesecake really. I don't like cheesecake. What there has been is banana flavoured crisps...I kid you not. Straight from Japan and purchaised from the sublime Oriental City. They don't work if you try and eat them as crisps however. You have to eat them as if they were sweets. It gets very confusing.

My main points of interest since november:

* discovered a pretty forest near where we live for walks and picnics when it's not too cold
* Christmas happened, I tried to stop it but it was having none of it. Apparantly the world can't be put on hold just for me. But Christmas was fab, spent with family and saw friends too. Proceedings were helped along smoothly by Nigel, our organic Christmas turkey, who was delicious. I got some kick-ass pressies, which reminded me how lucky I am to have so many cool ppl who know me so well, and are willing to buy me kick-ass pressies lol :)
* made some new friends :D - a couple met thru Byron's aikido, which I have now started too. But that's another bullet point. Said friends are v cool and we have lots in common. We have had a few friendy evenings involving sushi and smashed chopping boards and another one is coming up soon. Hopefully with less destruction.
* Started tomiki aikido, which I adore. The people are fab and they give me lots of compliments so that helps :) Apparantly I have a knack for it, I think it's cos I learn best when I have structure, and if there is a buzzword for tomiki it would be "structure". Or "fishcake".
* Lady K became a fully fledged adult type person of one and twenty years :) and I was there on her special day, yay!!
* Tried out a yoga class. Good experience but don't feel I have the energy and time to devote to it that I would need to make it a rewarding experience.
* Got a bonsai tree! Yay! He is so pretty! He was sad when we moved him from mum's house to mine as the type of tree it is doesn't like being moved about. But under my care and nurture he is regaining healthy green leaves :) it really is like having a pet, I check on him morning and evening and am worrying about him now I'm at mum's for a few days!!
* Got my hair done!! Fairly drastic change which I have been craving for a while. Cut to shoulders, thinned out and random streaks of dark russety red put in. It looked stunning when they'd just done it, dazzling colour and they straightened it to perfection. I was a bit gutted when the colour faded after one wash and it went back to the normal poodle curls tho :( but I'm OK now - I got some special shampoo for coloured hair and the red still looks lovely. I think wavy hair is with me for life, I just can't afford super straighteners at the mo. But as mum said, if that's the worst of my problems, I'm doing pretty well ;)

No doubt there is more but can't think of it rite now. Oh, George, my new friend, has got me into cardmaking as she is creative in a big way! It's been far too long since I picked up my cross stitch kit or scrapbooking keepsakes, and it's one of my list items I am mentally noting in a shameless plagery of lady K's life list to do more to nuture my creative side. Here are some other bits off the top of my head:

1) help out a good cause in some way, be it volunteering at an animal shelter or doing admin work for a charity. Won't be able to do this till after exams at the earliest
2) take good care of myself and keep chilled while studying towards said exams. They can make you crazy, folks.
3) Start writing again. This goes hand in hand with the creative one I suppose.
4) Practice zazen - this is Japanese buddhist meditation which I have found refreshingly calming. We do a few minutes in shinkendo every week and I have started to read up on it. It's blissfully simple - you just sit, that's all there is to it. You just sit there and do nothing, and just be aware of the world. There's no complicated thought thing you have to do, no ultimate goal, it's the perfect antidote for someone like me who's mind goes a mile a minute and can sometimes get wound up like one of those little toy soldiers till I fizzle out in a state of madness. So, just sitting is sometimes the best thing you can do.

So this week has been awesome. Wednesday we came down to mum's to head off to London. We wandered round Camden, the national gallery which was a fantastic experience (but kinda embarassing clomping around in stupidly sized boots on a wooden floor - eek!) then off to see staind in the evening. It was pretty cool, Byron's the fan really but I knew sufficiently enough to enjoy myself, sing along a bit, and anyway, you don't need to know lyrics to headbang lol!! Thursday we visited the scrumptious new Calamity Comics shop where we spent most of our life savings on comics and mags, but it was SO worth it. I found this great mag, "Gothic Beauty", imported from America, with goth lifestyle, fashion, music stuff etc and some very pretty pictures. After that it was off to Oriental city, purchase of some wicked Japanese stuff including said banana crisps and some truly oriental lunch (salmon sushi and miso soup for me). I think I appreciated the shops a lot more than last time I went, a good 3 or so years ago. Especially the homeware shops, being a homeowner now :)

So I guess I had better be off to bed now, no doubt there was shedloads more I wanted to say but it can wait for another day.

Take care my lovelies

xx Kasumi xx

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Nov. 25th, 2005 | 01:07 pm
mood: mellowmellow
music: Disturbed - God of The Mind (FANTASTIC headbanging song)

OMG, I cannot believe I forgot to blog about some exciting stuff!! Well, exciting to me anyway.

1) Wayne's tattoo - this is very cool. I couple of weeks ago at shinkendo I spotted a tattoo on Wayne Sensei's huge arm (not that I was staring or anything, honest!) Byron & I seem to be the only ones there who don't have tattoos. Anyway, It was 3 Japanese characters and I asked him afterwards what it meant (I'm always very curious to know what means so much to people that they would implant ink under their skin in eternal honour of it). And here is the reply; "it refers to my passionate love of rock music". OMG, how cool is that!! It's Japanese, and rock music!! Wow!! Apparantly Wayne has like 1200 CDs altogether, so there's something to aim for!

2) Cool purchases - last weekend I had a great shopping session in town after meeting Byron from aikido. We had a trawl round the calendar stall and Byron got me for Christmas a Princess Ai calendar which I'm supposed to forget lol, and I bought myself the most beautiful gothic calendar. I was so impressed by the selection there. I will have my Princess Ai one up at work and the goth one probably in our new bedroom. I can't believe we found an anime calendar!! I also bought a great gift for Lady K, which I can't go into for obvious reasons :) but I am very chuffed with it.

That's all for now, any more afterthoughts, I'll let you know lol :)

Take care

xx Kasumi xx

PS Wayne used the word "kasumi" last nite to explain the block! Hah! It was so weird!

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Life or something like it

Nov. 24th, 2005 | 01:32 pm
mood: contemplativecontemplative
music: Disturbed - Forgiven


I know, I know, ages since last update. How bad am I. But - I have an excuse, I have been moving! Stuff is making its slow yet merry way from our house at one end of the road to our house at the other end of the road :P - it's all a bit surreal, carrying all our worldly possessions in various carrier bags & rucksacks 5 mins down the road! Our new lounge is more or less set up and stuff is being dumped in both bedrooms but not particularly sorted out yet, and our bed and some other big stuff is still at the old house, but we're hoping to move all that this weekend. So at the mo, when we wanna watch TV, we have to walk to the new house, watch whatever, then go back out in the freezing cold to walk back to the old house to go to bed! Which kinda sucks. But we won't have to do it for much longer. Our main things we still have left to buy are a wardrobe, curtains for the bedroom and a katana & painting for the lounge. Actually, I'm off now to look at blades UK, a sword website, and then do my audit homework. Uni is fine, I'm actually understanding everything OK, but have resigned myself to the fact that I will never quite be up to date with the reading of the textbooks, due to the fact they are huuuge!!

Before I go I have a baffling anecdote for you. Byron has long been convinced that somewhere there is a person who steals all the divider things you use on the conveyor belts at the Tesco checkouts and puts them all in a room somewhere, just so they can sit and laugh at the anarchy that ensues (we can't be the only ones who've noticed the slow decline in divider numbers, surely?) and during last week's shop that same person seems to be employing strange tactics to mess with our minds. At the checkout next to ours, just a normal checkout mind, there were 3 upside down baskets placed in a line down the conveyor belt and a notice pinned to the front end saying "only hand baskets will be accepted at this till". I mean, what???!!!!! Does that make ANY sort of sense??? But anyway. Spooky.

Take care people!!

xx Kasumi xx

PS Shinkendo tonite! Hurrah! I *think* I kinda know shodan no kata now :)

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Nov. 10th, 2005 | 07:51 pm
mood: rushedrushed
music: Good Charlotte - I just wanna live

Hi lovely people,
This is just a quickie to say hello and all is OK! House completion has gone through, we now have the keys and are in the early stages of decorating, hurrah! So you probably won't hear from me in a while, at least not by internet. I had an update planned but seem to have lost it, it wasn't very long anyway. Quick rundown of my life lately; felt ill all last week then woke up saturday with a chest infection :( off work mon and tue, still taking antibiotics but its getting better. Ann Summers party last wed was a blast, Shinkendo was good, really think it's coming on but I'm not there tonite cos a) I don't wanna strain the old trachea and b) don't wanna make my bug worse by going on a cold, wet motorbike ride. Must remember to blog about Wayne's tattoo at some point :) House purchase completed on monday, all is roaring ahead at a great rate of knots, base coat has gone on lounge walls, coving up, sofas have been delivered, carpets coming next tuesday and some serious decorating/moving stuff going on this weekend.
Soooo I think that is all my brain can come up with at the moment, don't know if I'll have time for Christmas this year lol!!! Take care all,
xx Empress K xx

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Oct. 24th, 2005 | 01:35 pm
mood: happyhappy
music: David Draiman's haunting voice

Hi everyone!! First, an apology; I apologise. Specifically, for not updating in forever and generally seeming like I'm ignoring everyone, which isn't the case, life has just got hectic again!! Before I go any further, I think you should find out a little more about the livejournal mascot:
Right, now that's out the way, on with the update. Did you like my subject lol!!! The hospital went great, or I guess as well as a hospital appointment can go. I feel like I'm making progress now, the doc was really nice and understanding. I really felt she knew what she was talking about, which is a first as far as doctors are concerned. I am a "complicated case" and have been "undertreated"!! Anyway, she had a few ideas and I'm seeing her again next feb, with my regular monthly appointments at my local hospital in the meantime.
So on to the most exciting part; THE CONCERT!!! Well wow, what can I say. Last Thursday I saw David Draiman & Co, and they set my world alight. I wore knee length skirt, vest top, New Rocks and pvc trenchcoat which just about solved the hot/cold problem. It was fun getting ready at work then having everyone stare at me while walking to the train, it's been sooo long since I got to properly dress up, lol!! Apart from an amusing train incident (Byron was supposed to meet me at MK station, it was all organised with military precision, but ended up on the wrong train and we had to meet at Euston instead) the journey there went fine. The Northern Line was closed but it was easy enough and didn't take very long to take an alternative route. I knew we were in the right place when we emerged from the subway to hear the ticket touts: "buy or sell tickets for Disturbed?" then followed various people in band T shirts to the venue. I niavely thought we'd just sort of stand around outside the doors, but then I saw the queue. The measly excuse for a queue at the post office will now never scare me again. It already covered two sides of the building and after we joined it quickly extended to go round a couple more corners. Had to wait for a while but it was good fun, listening to everyone chatting, looking at what everyone was wearing (I felt so at home, it was one of the few times I actually felt I fitted in somewhere) there were some great hairdos and outfits. At one point a guy came round with a video camera. I really really hope they don't use that shot of me for a DVD or anything, the best I could do was a meek attempt at the horns sign and a bemused smile, it caught me completely off guard! Before we got into the place we had to be frisked and the lady made me take my spiky necklace off :( it's not even sharp, I couldn't hurt myself on it if I tried!! Anyway, we went in and found we were on the balcony, which I didn't even know existed, but had a great view. We found ourselves a table where we dumped our stuff and sat down for the warm up band, who were OK but not that great but stood up for the whole of Disturbed's set. I can honestly say I have never experienced anything quite like that night in my whole life. The Astoria was a small venue, only a couple of thousand people were there, but 2 thousand people with their hands in the air screaming their hearts out to every word of every song is an awesome sight and sound. Disturbed's singer David Draiman has such a powerful prescence, apart from being gorgeous he has the most wonderful voice which I have best heard described as being "somewhere between gravel & velvet". From the minute he and his band stepped onto that stage he had complete mastery over everyone. Such power, such energy emanated from the band that you could actually physically feel it, coupled with the euphoria from the crowd made for a truly awesome experience, one that reminded you what it actually means to be alive. There is nothing quite like getting swept up and losing yourself like that. They played some wicked songs and everyone seemed to know them all by heart, luckily they included some of my favourites :) They must have been playing for about an hour and a half altogether, how they kept up that pace and that energy I will never know. They tried to end with "The Sickness" but we chanted "we want more!" and they gave in and performed two more songs. The last song, stupify, leant itself to one of the best moments of the night; if you know the song, you'll understand why it's a concert song, it's very erm, interactive, and we all joined in as instructed, lol!! The other best moments of the night were forgetting my own existence to the music during the fantastic guitar solo in "Stricken" and every single person chanting to the derranged nightmare lyrics in the middle of "The Sickness" (where Mr Draiman sat on top of the crowd - what I wouldn't have given to be down there at that point!!). All in all it was a wonderful experience. I felt drunk afterwards (obviously I wasn't actually drunk as I don't drink) and the cold air felt so refreshing after being cooped up and sweating like crazy from all the dancing. We got some snacks and made our giddy way home. The next day I was in a world of pain; pain in my feet from my ridiculous but oh so lovely shoes, pain in my arms from throwing the horns, pain in my back and neck from headbanging the night away, pain in my throat from screaming my heart out. But, I hadn't felt so good in a long time!!! The various pains have faded now but the memory will be with me forever :) I hope to see those guys perform live again someday, and hopefully by then I'll be a fanclub member which will mean I'll actually be able to meet them - just gotta practice keeping the function of speech for that occassion, lol!!
So that was my recent exciting activity. Now I am desperately trying to catch up with uni work, get the ironing done, keep the house tidy, etc etc, all those crappy jobs! The house still seems to be going through OK, we've ordered ourselves a sofa for it so that's exciting. Yesterday we went to see Corpse Bride at the cinema, I loved it, it was really good! What's more there was a bit of a problem with the screen so we got free tickets for next time - result!! I'm still going to Shinkendo and have joined now, so I'll have to get myself a gi, but I HAVE NO MONEY!! CHRISTMAS HAS BANKRUPTED ME!!! Shinkendo is lots of fun :) I'm going out with the girls from work this Friday then next Wednesday evening I've got Stacey's Ann Summers party, so my hectic life continues! Don't worry if you don't hear from me, I'm fine :)
All the best
xx Kasumi xx

PS Disturbed have cancelled the rest of their tour after our concert - poor Mr Draiman has an infection on the vocal chords :( he is going to be OK but I can't help but feel partly responsible!

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